Phases of Discipline

D & I have decided that C goes through phases when she needs more discipline for a couple of weeks...then she'll be obedient for a while...then another phase comes around where we feel like all we're doing is telling her no or explaining why something is against the rules or having to spank her. This week she has been spanked 2 times and it's only Monday! (I know that might not sound like a lot of spankings but she rarely needs spanked.) It started Saturday. We were out shopping and her biggest issue lately is not listening. We were in the baby gap and at our mall there is a kid's gap and then a body gap all in a row but you can go from one store to another as they're all open inside. I was shopping for a Spring jacket and D was walking around with C. The next thing I know I hear him say, "C, come here!" and then I heard one of the workers say, "She's out of here!" I looked up to see D chasing her through the store. At this point I just figured he'd grab her and then hold her while I found a jacket. I continued shopping for a couple of minutes, found a jacket and then went to find them. I couldn't find them in the Baby Gap so I walked across to the Kid's Gap...no D or C...I looked up and saw him carrying C (sideways as she was trying to get down). His face was not happy. I said, "Hey, where'd she go?" To which he replied, "She ran all the way through all three stores and into the lingerie dressing room!!" Umm yeah, someone was in trouble! So we kept telling her how much trouble she was in all the way out of the mall, she got a swat on her leg and then once in the car we told her we she got home she was going to have a time-out and no TV and that she needed to apologize. This is where my favorite part of her being in trouble comes in. The entire way home she'd ask (with a HUGE smile and squinty eyes)over and over, "Momma...you happy???" "Dadda....you happy?" To which we'd reply no, we're still not happy with you. Then she'd wait 10 seconds and ask again, "Momma, you happy now???" No C...we are not happy with how you are acting. You have GOT to listen to mommy and daddy and you have GOT to stay with us in the mall!! "You happy now momma?" Sigh. No C. You happy Dadda? No C. So she thought for a minute and said, "We go home, I have a time-out then I say sorry and THEN you be happy???" lol Bless her heart...she just wants to make us happy but like any 2 & 1/2 year old she sometimes makes poor decisions. We got home, she had a time-out and then apologized and then had quite the talk with her dadda. We forgave her, and we were happy again.

Now, based on how the rest of C's life has gone I just figured that it was over...that from now on she would just stay with me b/c that's how she's been pretty much...she learns a lesson and remembers it. Umm yeah, not so much! Yesterday for lunch we had to wait (they said 15 min, it was 45!!!! We should've left but they kept saying in a few minutes we'd be seated.) Needless to say C got ancy and tired and yep, she kept trying to get away from us-not enough to warrant a spanking but totally was not compliant.

The overall theme here is that she doesn't like to listen to us lately...she thinks she has choice when she doesn't, she think she can do things she can't and she often thinks we're 'playing' when we're not. So we're working on our communication to her and working on consequences that will give us the result we prefer. She still wants us to be happy so we've got that going for us. :) It has all come with the potty training and independence. And while of course we want her to be strong and independent we are working on finding that balance between strong and independent and disobedient. I'll be excited for this 'phase' of discipline to pass but I know we're in for a lifetime of her needing to find out what the boundaries are...and we'll show her. :)